Boundaries and honest conversations

May 2020

I hope this finds you and your loved ones, safe and well.

How are you navigating your life and your practice during lockdown?

Remedies and routines are what’s getting me through.

On the positive side, spending my whole day at home every day, has given me the chance to really work on my routines and I’m starting to feel happier about how they look.

I’ve used a system called ‘habit stacking’ where you take one existing habit, and add another one directly after it. I learned about it from a book I read last year called Atomic Habits by James Clear.

A calm morning routine is key to my mental health. Having some time when I know I won’t be interrupted is the only way for me to start my day well. It also gives me time to meditate and reflect.

On the downside, I’m struggling with personal space and massively missing being able to escape to coffee shops, book-shops and going dancing.

But then I feel guilty even writing that because I know I’m so lucky to have my home, my family and my work.

I try to remind myself that in taking care of myself, I can take care of others. It won’t feel like enough, but then nothing ever does.

A few small things that have been helping my practice tick along

1. Offering free 15-minute catch-up calls. This has been really popular and has kept me in touch with my clients in a nice way. For some of these calls I’ve been posting remedies (paid for).

2. I’m including Neal’s Yard samples with every package I post, and this has led to several new on-line orders. If you like Neal’s Yard, maybe consider joining if you haven’t already. Find out more here.

3. I’ve been watching the Covid-19 trainings on GetTimely (my wonderful booking system). I’ve learned new strategies, including how to set up a Rewards system and how how to use SMS for promotions, such as a birthday offer.

I’ve also been having fun with Instagram stories.

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Practice Reflections

Honest conversations

Last week was a little quieter than usual, so I decided to open bookings for new clients once again.

I received an email on Sunday from a name I recognised. I’ll call her Emma. Emma had been in touch with me last autumn. She wanted to know if I offered Skype. It was after I’d made the decision to work only face-to-face, so I declined.

When we spoke this week, she told me that she’d actually been working with another homeopath but she was looking to change.

She explained that she had sent an email to her homeopath and had waited a few days for a response but not received one.

She described herself as being ‘quite needy’, and always happy to pay for advice, but she was concerned that she hadn’t heard from her homeopath which was why considering switching to me.

An alarm bell started ringing for me.

I have a little mantra which I say to myself when I feel my boundaries are being tested.

“I am not a product.”

As I said later to my husband and my daughter,

“I’m not something that they can just put in their basket and then go to checkout.”

In conversations that test my boundaries, I make a conscious choice to be very, very honest.

I explained to Emma that sometimes I might not be able to reply for a couple of days, although this rarely happens in practice. I explained that consultations take up a lot of my time, and preparing remedies does too. I need to ensure that I get packages posted on time, and then I need to take time for rest, and being with my family.

I told her that my auto-respond has the number of the Homeopathy Helpline, which I use as my ‘out of hours’ number. I also mentioned the new Homeopathy 24/7 service.

I also said that working with someone is a two-way process. They are not just choosing me, I am also choosing whether I want to work with them.

I need to feel that there is an understanding between us.

Then I decided to be really honest. I took a deep breath and told Emma that at the moment, I felt there was a red flag coming up for me, telling me that I wasn’t sure she understood the way that I work.

I wanted to be kind. I really enjoyed talking to her and I said that too. I said that I thought we would get on well, but that I needed to think about the professional side.

I asked her to take some time to read my client therapist agreement and to come back to me if she still wanted to work with me, and that I would have a think about it too.

I haven’t heard back from her yet, and I’ve decided that if I do, I will say that I’ve decided that it doesn’t feel right for me.

I’ve had a few other situations where my boundaries are being tested these last few weeks.

Maybe you too?

If you’re a subscriber, you’ll see a discussion thread where you can comment below.

P.S. Since writing this, I opened an email from money coach Denise Duffield-Thomas that says exactly the same thing, but more concise.

Here’s what she wrote in her email:

Just a reminder - keep your standards higher than every before. You might be tempted to say yes to non-ideal clients, relax your policies, over-deliver and under-change. Especially if you’re in scarcity mode. ⁣

And hey - we’ve all been there. And you might think “beggars can’t be choosers”

Just let me be the gentle reminder that most of the time those clients are NOT WORTH IT. ⁣

Trust those red flags - if someone is a pain during negotiation, it’s not going to get better! ⁣

Trust that there’s still plenty of people out there who will gladly pay your full rate, will be respectful to work with and won’t be a drain on your well-being. ⁣

My mantra for these moments are: “There are easier ways to make money.”

Easier.

Easier clients. ⁣

And often saying no, or sticking to those money boundaries will help you attract them easier. ⁣

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What’s your focus for May?

Your free planner to download and print

Do you write down set your goals for each new month?

I always do.

I print out this planner and stick it up on the wall by my desk with some tape.

I write my main 3 Goals on the top right, and the action steps to help me achieve them on the To Do list.

I mark off the days on the calendar, which helps me see how many days I have to get through my tasks.

At the end of each month I take the time for a thorough review to reflect on what I’ve learned.

This month the quote is from Nathalie Goldberg, a teacher known for her zen approach to writing.

“Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you want to go.”

I have chosen this quote because it struck a chord with me. As homeopaths, we don’t have an easy path to tread. In the present times we need trust more than ever before.

I hope you find the monthly planner useful. I would love to hear how you use it.

There’s also a daily planner for those days when you really want to focus.

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Practice Wisdom

Boundaries + self-care for homeopaths

NEW ‘mini-course’

I created this course last autumn, and thought that now might be a good time to offer it again. I plan to offer regular ‘mini'-courses’ – one week with a particular focus, with daily webinars and a downloadable work-book as well as daily emails.

Future ones will include: day journalling, decluttering and getting started with a newsletter. If you have other ideas, please tell me as I would love to know what you would find useful.

Practice Wisdom | Create positive boundaries between your work, your practice and your life

What's included:

1. Daily emails (Monday - Friday)

2. Daily live webinar (9am - 9.30am)

3. Downloadable workbook
   

Starts: Monday 18th May

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Brain food

Boundaries, wisdom, homeopathy (+ a new webinar from me)

1. I love synchronicity. After setting up the new Practice Wisdom course, on opening Marlee Grace’s newsletter today I found this! DM Boundaries

2. Toni Morrison on Wisdom in the Age of Information.

3. Covid-19 and Homeopathy from Miccant software.

4. And … early bird is open for my new 2-hour homeopathy webinar - 80/20 remedies for a Successful Practice.

And this month’s ‘just trust me’.

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If you made it this far, thank you for reading!

I hope you’ll join me for Practice Wisdom. (It’s free if you decide to become a paid subscriber to the newsletter.)

Remember to print your planner for May!

Thanks so much for being here,


Tracy

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